Awaiting Our Little Pumpkin

As I'm sure you know, I loooove being pregnant. As you may or may not know, I don't really like being photographed; I'm very uncomfortable in front of a camera. Several years ago I realized that the more uncomfortable I feel being photographed the more awkward I look in photos (funny how that works, huh?). Since I did want some good photos of me--and Lord, please, less awkward ones--I adopted a "fake it 'til you make it" approach to being photographed. I just act like I'm comfortable and the photos turn out a lot better, even if the back of my mind is telling me that I look like a huge dork, why am I standing next to the fanciest person in this group shot, please don't let her post this to Facebook (etc. etc. etc.). And that's just when I'm hanging out with friends! So you can imagine how I might feel when I book and pay for someone to photograph me. Oh, Lordy, the pressure!

But I really wanted this time in our lives to be documented. I love my huge belly and everything it means. So Jason took the day off yesterday and we drove up to Maryland to meet the lovely Shey of Shey Marin Photography so she could photograph my ever-increasing baby bump this amazing, blessed time in our lives. I gave myself about fourteen pep-talks in the days and hours beforehand, and we actually had fun! Shey was great to work with and I was able to relax and just enjoy what was happening--that my long-awaited, much-loved pregnancy was being captured on film (okay, in pixels, whatever) on a gorgeous fall day with my wonderful and adoring husband, just shortly before we meet our precious little bundle of joy.

And, you guys? The sneak-peek results? Oh my goodness.









Thank you so much, Shey, for these photographs. I can't begin to tell you what they mean to me.

[Shey posted these images on her blog and gave me permission to use them here.]

38 Week Update

How Far along?
38 weeks (and one day)!!! Last Sunday night (a week ago) when I went to bed I told Jason, "When we wake up we'll have a fully-cooked baby!" Technically, anyway; I'm happy to continue to gestate until she's ready. :) It's crazy to me that her estimated due date is less than two weeks away. I have a feeling that she'll be a week late, though, so no hurry. (Although remind me I said this in three weeks when I'm whining that I want her ouuuut.)

Size of the baby?
According to my weekly e-mail from BabyCenter, Bebe Girl's 6.8 pounds and over 19.5 inches long.

Any new symptoms?
Things are pretty much the same since my last update. My hips and lower back hurt a lot most of the time, although I saw the chiropractor yesterday and he did some muscle/ligament work on me as well as an adjustment, so I'm feeling a lot better today than I did all last week. It's better for me to keep moving a little bit; when I sit for too long and then get up the waddle is ridiculous, I feel like Tweedle Dee (or Tweedle Dum, I suppose).

What are you craving?
It's a good thing that Jason's home so I'm (we're) cooking healthy meals, because my appetite is pretty minimal these days. I'm eating enough and eating plenty of healthy foods, but I'm doing it much more for Bebe than I am for myself at this point.

Baby Bump?
Just a little bit. :)





Movement?
Bebe is getting so strong! She's getting big and running out of room so when she's stretching around it's pretty crazy the way she makes my belly move. She jabs her foot into (out of?) the right side of my belly and I have to adjust my position and sit up extra straight and massage it to try to get it back in a little bit or it's uncomfortable.

Nesting?
We're getting a lot done around the house and my To Do list is still a mile long. We ordered blinds for a lot of the windows in the house (which we've been wanting to do anyway), we cleaned out the basement storage area and got a deep freezer (hooray!!!), we set up the pack & play we received at my baby shower last weekend, my fancy glider and ottoman arrived and are set up in the living room. I worked on a couple fun projects for Bebe's nursery and washed all her little bitty clothes. I vacuumed pretty much constantly. The crib is now scheduled to be here after Bebe's due date, thanks a lot, Target. Oh, well. I'm trying to focus on one thing at a time and prioritize my To Do list because even if Bebe is two weeks late (please no) I still won't have time to get everything done. This is Classic Cameron, Queen of Overambitious To Do Lists (a title shared with @exlibris), so no big surprise!

Sleeping well?
The weather here has cooled down a bit which is awesome, I'm not sweating all the time now, just at night (pregnancy hormones increase at night, didja know that?). Last night Jason was cold so he kept cuddling up next to me in bed, chasing me all the way to the edge until I had about 18" of bed and my knees were hanging off the edge and I'd sweated through my tank top. So, yeah, I'll be getting him an extra blanket on his side of the bed tonight!

I'm waking up A LOT during the night. Three or four times to use the bathroom, plus every time I roll over or need to adjust my position or just because it's 2 a.m. and why shouldn't we be awake for no reason until 4 a.m.? Most nights I wake up at least once per hour and have at least an hour of laying-wide-awake. I'm not particularly exhausted, though, so it's not too bad.

Buy anything for the baby this week?
We bought a lot of things for the house but not a lot for Bebe specifically, just a few clothes to fill in the gaps of what I didn't have for her. I need to order the few baby things I need/want and don't have yet. We were gifted with a lot since my last update; in addition to the shower hosted by my lovely neighbors, I've received several surprise gifts from people, and my book club had a surprise baby shower for me at our meeting! I've been overwhelmed with how excited so many people are for us, it's so touching to me (especially since I generally assume that I like people more than they like me, hello, self-esteem, how are you?).

What are you enjoying the most/least about being pregnant this week?
Last Friday was pretty rough; my hips & lower back were really killing me (and my chiropractor was closed for the weekend), so little things that popped up just felt a lot harder to deal with. By the time Jason got home from his all-day project I was crumbling. His response, though, made it all worth it; he was amazing and didn't make me feel like I was being ridiculous, just calmed me down and centered me and soothed me, physically and mentally, and made me laugh and feel like I'm doing a great job being pregnant and he's proud of me. It was exactly what I needed and gave me a glimpse into what he'll do for me in labor. I'm going to need him so much and this was proof that he'll be there for me the way I'll need him to be--that's priceless.

I'm reading a lot and I'm really enjoying learning lots of cool facts about pregnancy, childbirth, and new parenthood. I'm also getting occasionally rather fired up at how misinformed we as women/we as a(n American) culture are about a lot of it, but that's another post for another day. I'm just so grateful that Jason and I are educating ourselves so we can make informed decisions no matter how things go with Bebe's birth.

I'm also enjoying all the big surprised smiles I'm getting from people out in public!

What are you looking forward to?
Tomorrow I'm getting a belly cast done, and Thursday we're getting maternity photos! I'm nervous about the photos because I'm a total dork, but I'm also excited for them. I'm anxious to finish this post so I can go try on a bunch of clothes and figure out what I'm going to bring to wear. Tomorrow I'm going to collect/buy some props I want to use in our session (a pink ribbon tied around my belly, baby blocks that spell out bebe or girl, a little pumpkin, pretty white fabric) and maybe buy an article or two of clothing to supplement since I don't have a ton of fall maternity clothes.

It's so strange to think that she could be here in three days or three weeks, we just have no idea. And yes, we're getting used to the idea that we have no control over our lives anymore, it's all Bebe from here on out!

You Wrap Your Arms Around Me and I'm Home

So, remember how Jason was gone for 8 weeks from mid-April to mid-June? And how when he came back I said he wouldn't leave again?

Oh, wait, I didn't say that.

Because he was home for just 6 weeks and then he left again on July 27th for 7.5 more weeks.

He got home last Friday (a week ago). Woooohoooooooooo!!

In my previous post about him being gone I might have seemed, to some people, a little, "Eh, big deal, my husband was just gone for eight weeks, whatever." Let me assure you that it was not easy breezy beautiful covergirl, either that first time or this time. Sometimes it sucked a lot.

Like when I woke up coughing bile and ran to the bathroom to puke in the middle of the night, and then had to go back to bed by myself without so much as a half-asleep shoulder rub in consolation.

Like when I did the math and figured out that, including the three weeks of training he had to do, he'd be gone for 45% of my pregnancy. Forty-five percent. That's a lot, y'all.

Like when my car broke down. Because naturally, if your nice, reliable car is going to suddenly break down with no warning whatsoever, and you're 7.5 months pregnant and your husband is halfway around the world, it's going to happen at 4:45 p.m. on Friday afternoon before Labor Day Weekend. I didn't even cry, y'all. Not even a little bit. Because I was laughing, because of course this is when it would happen. [All the military/ex-military/traveling husbands wives out there know that a husband's leaving is a sign to the universe that crazy shit is supposed to go wrong.]

Like when Bebe Girl was making my whole stomach move in waves and I had to reach for the video camera instead of calling Jason over to see it.

Like when I woke up to water damage on our master bathroom ceiling after it rained 4+ inches in 24 hours and roads all over were closed due to flooding and people were tubing down main highways, and I had to somehow get my car from the auto shop to the dealership an hour away (not counting traffic and flooding road closures), and then I got the crib I ordered and it was broken and exactly how am I supposed to get this huge 59-pound box to a UPS place to return it, and oh, I can't do that anyway because even after four separate phone calls and two+ hours on the phone with Target they still can't manage to send me my return shipping label. Yay, happy Friday to me! That was probably the very worst day; I missed him so much I ached.

But, most of the time, I had a pretty positive attitude. We chose this, after all. And when people said, "It must suck to have him gone while you're pregnant," I honestly replied, "It's not fun, but it's a lot better than if he were gone and I still wasn't pregnant!" [I can't tell you how true this is and how grateful I am to be pregnant, even with him gone.]

And it wasn't all bad; since he was gone during the hottest, most humid and miserable month in Virginia, I took the opportunity to escape to Oregon & Washington for three weeks in August. I got to enjoy the glorious weather, eat at my favorite Oregon places, go to my home church and sit between my grandparents with a hymnal on my belly, eat the fruits & veggies from my mom's & aunt's gardens (and beef raised by my uncle!), visit and photograph the county fair I went to every year while I was growing up, and delight every time I came around a bend in the road and saw a mountain in the distance, welcoming me home. I got to hang out with and visit family, attend a family reunion, see high school friends and college friends and friends I haven't seen for years and years, shop for maternity and nursing clothes with my mom, attend my niece's sixth birthday party and help her learn how to weave potholders, hang out with my BFF Kellie and finally meet her little girl in person instead of just Skype, hang out with my BFF Lisa, meet a Twitter friend in real life, figure out and make a silk ring sling with my aunt, and have not one but two baby showers! I wouldn't have done all of that if Jason were home, and it was all lovely and I'm so glad I got to do it before Bebe arrives.

Jason and I got to video chat nearly every day (sometimes twice while I was in Oregon and the time zone difference was longer), and he could call me on the phone if I had to be away from home/my computer during our normal chat times. This video chat bonding time was so important and meaningful to me that about a week after he got home the first time I actually missed him, because we were so busy getting things done that we weren't just sitting and talking face-to-face for a half hour or more every day like we had been while he was gone!

Now he's back (again) and he gets to see Bebe Girl move my belly around like crazy and feel how strong she is, how her right foot pokes out the right side of my belly like she's trying to make a break for it and I have to rub it until she tucks it back in a little bit. He gets to be woken up when I get up to pee four times a night, and sleep with his hand on my belly, and rub my shoulder when I wake up coughing from bile in my throat. He gets to fetch me water and ice packs and help me make dinner and assemble high chairs and pack-n-plays.

He's back, and he's right where he should be.

I love this photo so hard.

He left at 28 weeks 2 days and came home at 35 weeks 4 days. I didn't change much while he was gone. ;)



And this time I'm very, very, very happy to say: he's not leaving again.

Special thanks to all the family and friends and neighbors who helped me through Jason's absence, whether it was checking up on me or watering our plants while I was gone or driving me to and from the airport or listening to me and lending me your shoulder or distracting me with hilarious stories and Twitter conversations. I'm so glad I didn't have to do it without you. xoxoxoxoxo

36 Week Update

How Far along?
36 weeks (and 2 days)!

Size of the baby?
According to my weekly e-mail from BabyCenter, Bebe Girl's almost 6 pounds and 18.5 inches long.

Any new symptoms?
Is being unable to bend over while sitting down a symptom? Because I totally have that. Also, my hips are getting wonky (very descriptive, huh?). I have to be careful how I sit and for how long; I love sitting cross-legged and it's comfortable while I'm doing it, but then my hips will hurt later (so I stopped doing that, obviously). I'm seeing the chiropractor every week to ten days at least. I have to take frequent breaks when I'm doing things because I get tired really easily, so even on days I have a lot to do I try to switch off between doing active things (like organizing) with more inactive things (like writing thank you notes). When I'm really, really tired and/or my hips hurt I definitely have a waddle. I don't think that I necessarily waddle *all* the time, but yesterday at Marshall's an employee told me that I'm "getting my walk on" and the way she said it made me think she was saying I do the pregnant-lady walk. Nice. So maybe I do. Hrmph.

I'm hot almost all the time now, which is such a switch from my normal always-cold self. Jason usually freezes me out when we're driving and now it's the reverse, and I have just a sheet on at night with the ceiling fan on and I still wake up soaked in sweat, while he's cozied up under the quilt. Our electric bill last month was the most it's ever been because MOAR AIR CONDITIONING.

It's not a new symptom, but I realized that I never mentioned that I have linea nigra (the dark vertical line that 3/4 of all pregnant women get on their bellies). It's kind of funny because when you look at it close up it just looks like I have some freckles, but when you look at it from a little ways away it's totally a line. It's light and it runs the whole distance of my belly, from my pubic bone to just under my boobs. It doesn't bother me at all (I know some women hate it), I think it's kind of cool and just another sign that oh my gosh, look at me, I'm a pregnant lady!

What are you craving?
Ice cream! And barbecue potato chips, which I indulged and I think is gone now. And fruit, but only certain fruit and certain ways. If you cleaned and cut up a gallon of strawberries for me I might eat the whole thing, but the idea of cleaning and cutting them up myself makes me want to die and/or puke. WEIRD. I also bought a half-gallon of organic chocolate milk yesterday, which was a major craving for me at the beginning of my pregnancy so it's kind of funny to have it again.

Baby Bump?
Totally not at all. :)



And just to shake things up, here's a front view!



Movement?
In my last update I said that she was starting the "Alien" phase of making my stomach move but you couldn't really see it from the outside. Uh, yeah, that's changed! It's crazy how much she makes my stomach move--sometimes it catches me by surprise and stops me in my tracks. I'm writing this post now because she's moving so much that I couldn't stand to get up and move on to the rest of my To Do list, I just wanted to keep sitting here and paying attention to her. :) [And yes, I can pay attention to her while I'm typing because my laptop is on what's left of my lap, and she's in, well, what's not left of my lap!]

Nesting?
Well, this past weekend I emptied out all the bathroom cabinets, purged stuff, and organized the rest into drawers that I labeled with the label maker I haven't used in at least six years, does that answer the question? I also sorted all of the baby clothes (both new and hand-me-downs) we've received and have them in bins in her closet, organized by type and size, I freecycled stuff I've been meaning to get rid of, and I arranged for a donation truck to come pick stuff up today.

The fun nesting stuff I want to do (decorate the nursery!!) is being put on hold a bit, because I'm having issues with Target; when I opened the crib they shipped me it was broken, and getting a replacement has been entirely too much of a pain in the ass. [And when I say that I mean that it's really ridiculous, not just that I'm 8 months pregnant and being all hormonal. We're talking 4+ hours on the phone over 6 phone calls and I still have no idea when they're shipping my replacement.] I really want the crib not because she'll be sleeping in it right away (she'll be in a co-sleeper bassinet attached to our bed, which is already here and set up thank you Amazon) but because I want to figure out where stuff is going in the nursery and decorate it; I don't want to commit to hanging anything and putting holes in our freshly-painted walls until I know I like the layout of things. I'm keeping perspective and I know that it doesn't matter, she will be safe and loved (oh so very loved) and who cares if her nursery's not ready when she arrives? It's just fun and I want to make up her crib and hang her mobile and all of that. :)

Sleeping well?
Yes! I started taking Maalox every night at bedtime and I can sleep laying down again! I'm also napping again sometimes in the afternoons. [I wrote this last night and then, of course, slept like crap, waking up with bad heartburn and ended up sleeping sitting up and getting a crick in my neck. Oh well.]

Buy anything for the baby this week?
Two weeks ago I ordered the crib, a highchair, and a swing (okay, two swings, but I plan to return one!). I ordered the co-sleeper Sunday and it's already here (thank you, Amazon Prime!) and Jason assembled it so we'll just hook it to the bed a little later on. There are a few more things that I'm anxious to have but I have a baby shower this Saturday so I'm going to wait. :)

What are you enjoying the most/least about being pregnant this week?
I still love being pregnant, but I'm starting to see how women can get sick of it. It's not for sissies, that's for sure! Most days are great, but I've had a couple days where I've pushed myself too much and then been so sore and tired that I just wanted to cry. As long as I take it easy(ish) I feel great, and luckily I have that luxury since I set my own hours and work at home and don't have any other kiddos yet. My hat is off to all the women who work full time up to delivery, and/or are chasing after toddlers!

I'm really enjoying having Jason home (more on that in an upcoming post). He's really amazing and helps me all the time with any little thing I need, whether it's refilling my water glass or assembling the co-sleeper as soon as it arrives or just listening as I walk & talk through something, trying to figure out how I'm going to organize or accomplish something. My very favorite words are, "What can I do to help you, Love?" He had the last couple days off work so we got a lot done and got lots of quality time, too. He's really being great and it's so awesome to feel totally on the same page and part of a team, it gives me a lot of confidence that we'll deal with parenthood as a team, even if (when!) we're exhausted and don't know what to do.

What are you looking forward to?
If anyone posts comments like, "Oh, you just wait, silly woman!" I will stab you think you're a big inconsiderate jerkface loser, but I'm really looking forward to experiencing birth. Truly. I don't think it will be easy (AT ALL), but I do think that it will be amazing. Thinking about it all--Jason supporting me and helping me through this awesome, transformative, greatest physical challenge of my life, seeing our baby girl for the first time (and seeing Jason see her, ohmyword), feeling her skin-to-skin, breastfeeding for the first time--oh, well, I just cry from happiness and gratitude that I will get to experience it all (no matter how it all happens).

34 Week Update

How Far along?
34 weeks. :) I cannot believe how quickly it's going.

Size of the baby?
According to my weekly e-mail from BabyCenter, Bebe Girl's about 4 3/4 pounds (the size of an average cantaloupe) and almost 18 inches long.

Any new symptoms?
I've been having a little bit of heartburn for the past month or so, but started taking papaya enzymes and digestive enzymes and that pretty much took care of the problem. Until this past week. I've been waking up with bile in my throat, coughing and even once threw up in my mouth and had to leap out of bed (I'm sure it would've been a hilarious site to see, me leaping out of bed) to run to the bathroom. It's not really fun.

I was also having more swelling in my hands and feet, but after taking some time to rest this past week after my crazy insane schedule the previous week, things appear to be back on track and I'm able to wear my wedding ring again sometimes. Hooray! :)

And in the interest of full disclosure, I'll also admit that my legs? Are getting not pretty. I haven't been working out as much as I was because my hips are often out of alignment so I've been trying to take it easy, but oy. Oh, well. This doesn't really bother me a whole lot, but it's happening so I thought I'd mention it.

What are you craving?
I haven't really been having any cravings lately, except when someone on Twitter mentions something sweet (I blame Megan Boley for the jelly donut I still want a week after she mentioned it). I've also been craving Coke, but that might just be because 1) I'm tired and want caffeine, and 2) I feel like it would help with the acid grossness, even though I know that it's an acid and eats pennies and cleans toilets and all that, please don't tell me, I'm smart and I already know. For the record, I haven't actually been drinking Cokes, just craving them.

Baby Bump?
Yes. :)


Movement?
Yes, oh my word, it's awesome. I started feeling something at about 14 weeks, but because it didn't match any of the normal descriptions (butterfly flutters, popcorn popping) I wasn't sure if I was really feeling the baby move or just some other weird my-body-is-changing things. It felt like a change in pressure, as if the baby were flipping around and it was moving the amniotic fluid and I could feel the pressure change. Then when Jason came home she started kicking in very obvious ways. I'd been anxious for her to start moving; I should've known she was just waiting for Daddy to come home and get her all ramped up (this theme will continue for the next many years, I expect!).

She's doing new things now, which is so stinkin' cool. She's entering the "alien" phase where she's making my stomach undulate in waves as she moves around and stretches... it's not obvious yet, you wouldn't notice it from the outside, but you could feel it if I let you put your hand on my belly, and I can see it sometimes with my special top-down view of my belly. :) I totally, totally love it. :) She's doing it right now as I type this.

Gender?
Girl! I waited until 22 weeks to have my ultrasound because I wanted Jason to be there when I found out (even though I was dying to know, those extra couple of weeks felt like forever!). He came home on a Friday and our appointment was on the following Tuesday morning. The ultrasound tech did some initial measuring and monitoring--my favorite part was seeing the four chambers of the heart pumping away, so cool!--and then asked us if we wanted to find out the gender. I expected her to point up to the screen and say something like, "Well, you see that right there? That's [fill in girl or boy parts]!" Instead, she asked if we wanted to know the gender, we said yes, and she blurted out in a flat, monotone, loud voice, "GIRL." Looking back it was pretty funny but at the time it was kind of startling and felt anticlimactic! Then we went and had breakfast at IHOP and called our family members, and went to Target to buy a pink onesie so we could take this photo.


Nesting?
I'm anxious to get the nursery set up and do some projects in the house, but I'm normally motivated by deadlines anyway, so this just feels like normal deadline-approaching energy more than nesting. I've had a few moments that felt like nesting, like when Jason sanded our wood stairs and wood dust was ev.er.y.wh.e.re... I vacuumed (and wiped down the outside of the vacuum, a la Monica Gellar) and wiped down the walls and banisters and dusted and cleaned every.single.surface in our house. I'm actually hoping to be hit by the nesting bug, my To Do list is a mile long and I could use the extra energy! :)

Sleeping well?
I've been sleeping really, really well for almost all of my pregnancy until this past week. The heartburn/acid reflux is really tough... one night I woke up just 45 minutes after I'd gone to sleep, and the acid burning in my throat was so bad that I was awake for another 45 minutes, downing Tums and papaya enzymes and eating a banana and drinking water, just trying to get the burning to stop. Not fun. So I commandeered most of the pillows in the house and set up my pillow fortress and slept sitting up completely. I know this happens to a lot of pregnant women, but it just kind of surprises me how suddenly it came on. On Saturday night I slept like a champ; on Sunday night I woke up puking bile.

On Wednesday morning when I woke up I came downstairs and started the (decaf) coffee pot in a total haze; before it finished brewing I did the math and realized that in the six hours I'd been "sleeping," I was completely awake at least six times. The previous few nights had been the same. No wonder I was exhausted. Having a positive attitude has really helped me throughout this pregnancy ("I don't mind waking up in the middle of the night, it isn't that bad!") but sometimes it apparently makes me a little dim (sleep deprivation is real, yo). ;) So I left the coffee untouched in the pot and went back to bed (sitting up); I slept for two straight hours and woke up feeling like a new woman. Since then I've slept sitting up every night and while I still wake up several times a night to pee and have occasional bouts of acid, it's not as bad as it was.

I told Jason, "Oh, it's just preparing me for nighttime feedings and being exhausted when the baby comes," and he said, "That's dumb. What do you need to be prepared for? Not sleeping sucks, there, you're prepared." HA!

Buy anything for the baby this week?
We've been gifted with some amazing things and I still have another baby shower or two coming up, so I'm trying not to buy much right now. I have received a couple of lovely presents in the mail, though! :)

What are you enjoying the most/least about being pregnant this week?
You read the middle-of-the-night bile/choking thing, right? So that's what I'm enjoying the least, obviously. My favorite part is the way she moves now, how she's normally pretty chill but always starts moving when she hears Jason's voice, and how I can feel the bumps of her body and try to guess which parts are which/where.

What are you looking forward to?
I'm interested to see if Bebe Girl acts at all similarly on the outside as she does on the inside. I'm excited to see Jason hold her and rock and bounce and soothe her (and get wrapped right around her teeny, tiny finger). I'm looking forward to finding her name (and trying not to worry about not having one for her yet). I'm really excited to sniff her head and kiss the bottoms of her tiny feet and see what she looks like and take photos of her and figure out breastfeeding and a thousand other little moments, only some of which I can even imagine right now.

Today I went to see The Help with some friends, and the relationship between Aibileen and Mae Mobley just made me bawl. The way she greeted her after naps, kissed her when she cried, and told her that she is kind, she is smart, she is important... oh my goodness, I'm so looking forward to that.

Surprises Amidst Life-ness

I still remember sitting in my friend's dorm room, talking about her trip to Europe over the summer. I couldn't believe how blasé she was about it. I mean, Europe! "Wasn't it amazing?" She said that sure, it was cool to see the sights, and kind of shrugged.

Growing up in a small, rural town on the West Coast, only rich people--you know, like in movies--traveled to Europe. I had my hopes but didn't think I'd ever really make it over there, so I couldn't believe that her mind hadn't been completely blown by the experience.

Flash forward eight years, and I'm married and flying to Europe for the first time. To live there. I wish I would've had a blog or kept a journal back then; I can't imagine exactly what I was thinking and feeling. I do remember wandering around Venice for the first time, winding through the tiny alleys, when suddenly, unexpectedly, we popped out into St. Mark's Square. I was unprepared and became so overwhelmed that I started crying and made Jason retreat with me, back into the alleys, until I could collect and mentally prepare myself for the moment.

When we went back into the square, I breathed it all in and tried to commit it to memory, this feeling of being in a new and amazing place for the first time, a place I wasn't sure I'd ever get to be and yet, somehow, seemingly miraculously, was.


Living in Italy is vastly different (in both very good and very challenging ways) than flying over and touring for two weeks, and I quickly began to understand (at least a bit) my friend's attitude.

When you daydream about sitting at an outdoor cafe sipping cappuccino, everything, of course, is perfect. But in reality, even at that outdoor cafe with your cappuccino, you've got jet-lag, or you've been walking for hours and your feet hurt and you're cursing yourself for bringing your cute shoes instead of your practical, comfortable shoes, or it's hot and you're sweaty and why is there no air conditioning anywhere, or you're annoyed with your traveling companion(s), or you're hungry, or you're frustrated that nobody seems to understand your attempts at the language, or you got an e-mail from a friend back home who's in crisis and you're distracted thinking about it.... you know, life-ness. Those everyday, mundane human concerns it's all-too-easy to get caught up in, whether you're at home or on the other side of the world; hunger, thirst, exhaustion, annoyance, discomfort, worry--oh, how they follow us, wherever we go.

Which isn't to say, of course, that you can't still have your moment, sipping your cappuccino and gazing around at how Italian everything is, how different from your normal life, how amazing it is to be here... you just have to pay more attention, working harder to listen through all the noise.





I love being pregnant. I've wanted to be here, in this series-of-moments, for oh-so-long and wasn't sure I'd ever get to be. And I've been lucky [knock-knock-knocking on wood] and am having a wonderful pregnancy. I'm trying to commit to memory these amazing moments as they happen, to slow down and breathe them in. I'm not sure I'll get to be pregnant again (although I'm already hoping I will be), so I'm trying to enjoy it as much as anyone possibly can.

Yet, life-ness happens. Exhaustion, hunger, worry, preoccupation, discomfort; they take up residence in the forefront of our brains so it's harder to see--or just easier to miss--the bigger, more amazing picture.

I get wrapped up in computer work or a project or [something/whatever] and my brain is fully occupied, thinking about formulas in Excel or my To Do list or how I can combine two different ring sling tutorial patterns to make exactly what I want (I have a bit of a tendency to become, shall we say, mentally immersed). And, wheels still turning in my brain, I walk into the bathroom and am greeted by a belly--a big, beautiful, pregnant belly--in the mirror...

or

I'm walking in downtown Portland, my hips hurting, wondering if I should find a chiropractor while I'm visiting here, and I catch someone looking at me and my belly and smiling...

or

I'm wading through e-mail and she suddenly kicks...

or

I'm getting dressed after a shower and see my bare belly in the mirror on the headboard...


....and I fall in love all over again.



I hate to admit it, but sometimes when I lived in Italy I was annoyed that life-ness got in the way of how I thought things would/could/should be.

Now, I'm so grateful for this life-ness that temporarily steals me away, allowing me to rediscover my joy and amazement and gratitude, over and over and over again in a thousand unexpected ways.

Tie-Dye Dude Gets It

99 cent onesie

I stood, awkwardly, waiting for the Salvation Army cashier to wrap up the dishes I was buying. The guy behind me in line had only one item.

"I'm sorry you have to wait for me, I'd've let you go ahead of me if you'd been here before she started ringing me up."

"It's okay, I'm not in a hurry."

He was thin and scruffy, wearing a tie-dyed shirt and a crazy, unkempt beard. I could imagine him riding his bicycle around town all day and selling interesting weird things at street fairs.

Holding up the shorts he was going to buy he said, "I finally found a pair that fits me! It's hard to find ones that fit, they're all different."

"Oh, women's clothing is even harder, I have 4 different sizes in my closet that all fit. Well, they did before, anyway," with a little laugh and a gesture to show that "before" meant "before I was pregnant."

I stood, swaying slowly side to side, one hand on my belly, waiting for my purchases so I could go about my day, already thinking about where I needed to go next.

"Is the baby bothering you?"

Snapping back, "Hmm?"

"The baby, is it bothering you?" He looks down to my stomach and I realize he means because I've been rubbing my belly.

"Oh, no. [pause] I just like..." and I trail off, unsure of what to say, taking my bags from the cashier now.

"Falling in love?"



Thank you, Tie-Dye Dude. Yes, precisely.

28 Weeks--Part 2, Cravings

Some other bloggers do weekly updates on their pregnancy--stats, symptoms, cravings, baby purchases, etc. Since this is the first time I'm doing this "pregnancy status report," I'm including past information as well (so it's long and I'm breaking it up into several posts). I realize this is boring information for most people, especially if you've been pregnant so this is all old hat to you or you have no interest in having a baby, but I want to document and remember these things--and what's a blog for if not that? I hope to continue to do these at least every other week--I wish I'd started right away, at the time I felt like I'd always remember every detail but of course I'm already forgetting. Better late than never. :) Part 1 can be found here.

What are you craving? I'm finally having a bit of a break from cravings! Most recently it's been fruit, which I'm still eating but not with the same ferocity that I was for a while there--a Costco-sized box of raspberries a day, half a small watermelon at a time, blueberries, blackberries, whatever. :) That's a great craving to have compared to some of them I've had the past 28 weeks.


I mentioned that I didn't really have morning sickness during the first trimester; what I had instead was all-day-hunger. I ate and ate and ate, and when I finished eating I was already thinking about what to have next. For a while I was gaining weight so rapidly that I worried I'd gain 100 pounds during this pregnancy, but I was just HUNGRY all.the.time. And only wanted to eat carbs!

One day, this was breakfast. Don't judge. Jonathan told me that putting bacon on my mashed potatoes made them more breakfasty. It certainly made them more delicious.

One night at about 14-15 weeks Lori mentioned corn-dogs on Facebook, and wouldn't you know that at 8 pm on a Sunday night I found myself driving to not one but two convenience stores (that's where I used to buy them as a kid) and finally ended up in the frozen foods section of the grocery store. I hadn't had a corn-dog in so long that I didn't even know you could buy them in the grocery store! Of course they only come in a box of 16; thanks a lot for mentioning corn-dogs, Lori! ;)

I can't believe I don't have a picture of the corn-dogs. It must've been the shame of buying and eating corn-dogs that prevented me from taking a photo of them. This photo, however, shows what happens when a pregnant lady goes to the store for Caesar salad. See it there in the back right?

Very early on (8-12 weeks) I had a few cravings that hit me hard but then passed once I gave in: deep fried dill pickles, which I had to Google to find locally and Jason kindly accompanied me clear across town for dinner to have; a cheeseburger with only and exactly bacon, avocado, and mayo on it; quiche, even though eggs sounded disgusting; waffles topped with berry compote and whipped cream, which I tried to avoid because Jason was gone and I didn't want to go to IHOP by myself, but it was all I could think about for three days so I finally gave in and made it at home.


For a few weeks very early I couldn't get enough chocolate milk. After that came a grape juice phase. I had a week of root beer float cravings, too. Then I had a serious Slurpee jones; it had been probably a dozen years since I'd had a Slurpee in normal, not-vacationing-in-Florida-visiting-Lori life, but for a while I couldn't get enough. I finally gave in and bought a Magic Bullet to make healthier versions at home, and now--naturally--the weather's cooled down a bit and I'm not craving them anymore. But I expect that will change when things heat up again. **It has heated back up and I'm not craving Slurpees. I've used the Magic Bullet only twice.**


The weirdest thing for me is that I now have a huge sweet tooth. Before, if given the option of almost any dessert or a bowl of mashed potatoes and gravy I'd choose the salty carbs every time; the thought of eating a lot of icing on a piece of cake made me sick to my stomach. Now? I love and crave sweets. Megan said the same thing happened to her, and she went back to normal after she delivered her sweet Benton. So we'll see!


It's somewhat ironic that I'm ending this post this morning with three photos of sweets because I have my glucose tolerance test today so I'm avoiding sweets. Which naturally makes me want to have doughnuts and sweet tea for breakfast (neither of which I even have in the house, although I suppose I could make sweet tea. But I won't).

I'll post the final part of this tomorrow--with more baby bump photos! Assuming I take them today. *cough*

28 Weeks--Part 1

Some other bloggers do weekly updates on their pregnancy--stats, symptoms, cravings, baby purchases, etc. Since this is the first time I'm doing this "pregnancy status report," I'm including past information as well (so it's long and I'm breaking it up into several posts). I realize this is boring information for most people, especially if you've been pregnant so this is all old hat to you or you have no interest in having a baby, but I want to document and remember these things--and what's a blog for if not that? I hope to continue to do these at least every other week--I wish I'd started right away, at the time I felt like I'd always remember every detail but of course I'm already forgetting. Better late than never. :) Also, I almost went around the house taking photos of relevant items like Tums and my body pillow just to have some photos in this post, but then I remembered I have 8 zillion things to do and you all know what Tums look like. So, long on words and short on photos, sorry!

How Far along? 28 weeks! That's 70% of the way! THIRD TRIMESTER, BABY!! :)


Size of the baby? The average size listed in books & etc is about 15 inches from head to heel, and 2 and a quarter pounds.

Any new symptoms? The very first "symptom" I had was a major shift in sleeping patterns. Normally I'm a total night owl and love to sleep in, but suddenly I was falling asleep on the couch at 8 pm and waking up--I mean, WIDE AWAKE--at 4 am. Even if we had something planned and I managed to keep myself awake until 10 pm, I'd still wake up at 3:30 or 4 am. This has varied a bit since then, and I'm not waking up that early, but 6 am is still pretty normal for me these days, even on days when we've stayed up the night before and I don't have anything I need to get up for. And when I'm tired it's not just like I'm tired, it's like I'm a mama grizzly bear that's been hit with a tranquilizer dart--I practically can't even talk coherently, and it's all I can do to get upstairs, take out my contacts, brush my teeth, and change my clothes before falling into bed. Now I try to go to bed way before I get that tired, but early on when I wasn't used to it yet Jason had to help me up to bed a few times.

I didn't really ever suffer morning sickness, I just had a very touchy stomach and I only wanted to eat carbs (and carbs and more carbs and more more more carbs). I almost never eat cereal for breakfast but I went through five boxes in the first few months, not to mention potatoes, popcorn, crackers, etc, etc, etc. I only threw up a couple of times and both were right after I'd taken my prenatal vitamin. I discovered that I can take it at night even on an empty stomach and it doesn't bother me, but taking it in the morning was a recipe for disaster. I also have a very strong gag reflex now, and made myself throw up once by brushing my tongue exactly like I always have. Fun!

For a few weeks I felt like a superhero whose superpower was smelling; I could smell flowers from across the room, and when Jason worked on his motorcycle in the garage I could smell oil and gasoline in the entire house. I wouldn't let Jason cook eggs because I could smell them all day. Pre-pregnancy I ate eggs for breakfast almost every morning, but as soon as I got pregnant (and I knew almost immediately) they became, well... let's just say unappetizing. For a while, just thinking about them or seeing them on TV made me sick to my stomach. I've eaten them a few times since, but for the most part I avoid them, and I don't even have any in the house.

I was pretty much exhausted for the first four months or so, and took naps almost every day for a while. On the days I didn't take a nap I had to at least have an hour of rest in the afternoon where I wasn't doing anything--no internet, no reading, no TV even. I found what I call the "in-between," when I'd lay down to take a nap and just lay there, feeling awake and thinking about things but happy to be laying down with my eyes closed... and then I'd wake up in a big puddle of drool, so obviously I'd actually been sleeping... I think? My energy came (is coming?) back slowly--some women say they wake up one day and feel like their old selves again, full of energy, but that didn't happen with me. Some days I'm still tired, not like I didn't get enough sleep but just like my body's telling me to rest. I listen, and I still take a nap about once a week.

"Baby brain" struck early. I remember I was making two little matching mini-scrapbooks, one for Jason and one for me, and I was trying to decide which colors to use that best represent each of us. I chose turquoise for mine (which I love and use for all my Create Beauty Daily packaging), but couldn't decide at all for Jason's. I thought about it for a couple days--red for his Ducati? blue for his eyes and because the color looks so good on him?--until I finally just asked him. He looked at me with a "Seriously?" expression, and it suddenly hit me--duh, ORANGE. He's a third-generation Oregon State (Beavers) alum and when I do laundry I often have an entire load of oranges. His closet is filled with orange. He avoids forest green--especially when it's with yellow--because those are the colors of the rival University of Oregon (Ducks). Orange is so obviously the color choice for Jason that this was the first and is the perfect example to me of just how powerful baby brain can be. Now I write everything down because I know I'll never remember it like I used to be able to. I'm an excellent speller but I'll have a complete mental block about how to spell something or, worse, just totally misspell words while I'm typing without even noticing it until hours later (so please forgive the inevitable typos here). And I have occasional pure-baby-brain moments. I used to be smart, I swear.

My skin has changed, too. Early on I got small breakouts on my upper back/neck/shoulders (but nowhere else--weird). A lot of my moles are puffy now, or even puffier than they were before... I've had them looked at and it's fine, just a normal reaction due to hormonal changes. I've developed little pink & red spider-veins all up & down my arms & hands and a few on my chest, one or two on my face. I'm not sure if it's because I'm older and care less, or because Jason tells me I'm beautiful at least once a day, or just because I'm so thrilled to be pregnant, but they don't bother me at all, even the ones on my face. Even if they don't go away after delivery. Oh well. On the bright side, my skin is a lot less oily than it usually is!

I don't want to go into detail here, but let's just say that there are a lot of normal changes that might happen to a woman's breasts and nipples when she gets pregnant and YEP, I have those. Jason's joke is that he can shape his hand like he's palming a basketball and it will fit on my body in a great many places these days. Curves, I have 'em (and he loves 'em).

I've had a few issues with my feet & ankles swelling (edema), but I have it fairly under control. I try to put my feet up whenever I'm sitting down; I wear socks and tennis shoes or Converse instead of flip-flops when I'm out and about (thanks to Chiara for the tip); I drink an obscene amount of water; I wear compression socks at night if I have any swelling at all that day (thanks to my neighbor Maren for giving me the socks, formerly part of her son's Pilgrim costume for a school performance, ha!).

I'm so thankful for my neti pot because I have what about 30% of pregnant women suffer; "rhinitis of pregnancy." Basically it means that I feel stuffed-up all the time, even though I can't blow my nose because there's nothing much in there, just swollen mucous membranes. No big deal, just kind of annoying sometimes to be such a mouth-breather, ha ha, and it means I snore sometimes at night.

Of course I knew that pregnant women have to pee a lot, but it surprised me to discover that this happens (or can happen) early as a result of hormonal changes (plus I was drinking a lot more water). From very early on I was awake at least once in the middle of the night, which was very, very unusual for me--I almost never had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night before. I still remember waking up and walking to the bathroom in the dark, with my hand on my (mostly-flat) belly and a huge smile on my face. I never minded getting out of bed in the middle of the night because that meant that things were going well, I was still pregnant, Hello, baby in my belly, I love you, please please stay. I honestly loved and treasured every single early symptom... just thinking and writing about those first middle-of-the-night bathroom trips is bringing tears to my eyes. I'm so grateful. Now I'm waking up between one and four times a night to go to the bathroom. And I still don't mind.

For about the first 5 months I felt even more emotionally and hormonally balanced than I usually do. I'm still pretty calm and rational most of the time, but it catches up to me every once in a while now for the past couple weeks. Did you know that when pregnant, a woman creates about the same amount of estrogen that she normally produces in an entire month during her normal cycle... every. single. DAY!?! I mean, think of the last time that you had a PMS-y day or two... and then figure that you have more hormones than that rushing through your bloodstream every day when you're pregnant. It's kind of mind-boggling, actually. So I suppose it's only normal that every once in a while that catches up to me and I cry for nearly no reason or suddenly feel that everything is URGENT OMG! When it's happening I know that it's happening, I know that it's hormonal, I know that it's not rational, and yet this knowledge makes not one tiny bit of difference in the way that I'm feeling. I'm beginning to learn that I need to not talk on the phone, or e-mail, or basically communicate with anyone other than Jason or my best friend from high school, Lisa; they're the only ones I can talk to without hearing judgement seeping through their words. And feeling judged only makes it ten times worse. [Judgement and unsolicited bossy "advice" are a hot topic for me lately, but that's a whole different post.] For the most part, though, and 97% of the time, I feel great and wonderful and oh-so-happy (and I'm learning to deal better with the other 3%). **I started writing part of this series of posts a few weeks ago and things have already changed again, I feel more like I did the first 5 months and the hormonal craziness has almost completely dropped off. Knocking on wood.**

The most recent weird "symptom" was when I drank a ton of water one day a few weeks ago (okay, I drink a ton of water every day, but I drank an asinine amount that day) and my belly button was sticking out more than usual. When I pushed on it it made weird gurgling, bubbling sounds like there was air trapped in my belly button and I'd squish it out when I pressed on it. Jason could hear it, too. Crazy.

Oh, and heartburn? Yes. I carry peppermint Tums with me at all times and have three bottles spread throughout the house.

I've been going through my old tweets to remind myself of when things happened and I'm glad I have these "notes" to jog my memory. A couple things I forgot to mention: I had some crazy, crazy dreams, especially early on. I had a few nights where I woke up with total night-sweats, I had to completely change clothes and the sheets were so wet that Jason woke up and thought I'd wet the bed! Apparently I had a lot of headaches in months 2-4, I tweeted about it several times. I also had really, really bad allergies for a while (which I don't usually have) and I do remember that quite well.

This post is all about symptoms, so if it sounds like I'm complaining then let me state for the record: I love being pregnant. I loooooove it. I hope I get to do it again, but in case I don't I'm trying to savor every moment, every kick, every moment of exhaustion that reminds me I'm growing a baby. I can already tell I'm going to miss being pregnant (but then I will have a new squishy baby to love on, squeeee!). Jason told me last night, out of the blue as I was walking into the kitchen, "We need to get you pregnant again, you look so good pregnant." If that doesn't make a pregnant woman want to have four more babies I don't know what will.

Come back tomorrow for a post about cravings and more! With photos! :) Oh, and if you got this far, I love you. xoxo

8 Weeks

The photo on the left was taken April 13th, when I was 13 weeks 2 days pregnant. It's been my Facebook profile photo since then so if we're Facebook friends you've probably seen it. The photo on the right was taken last Monday on June 13th, when I was 22 weeks along.


Both were taken in the upstairs landing of our house, in a big mirror propped against the wall (our bedroom doors are closed behind us). I was wearing the same tank top and yoga capris in both photos. The biggest difference between the two is that in the one on the left, I'm about to drive Jason to the airport to fly far away for work, and in the one on the right, he'd only recently come home. He was gone for 8 weeks (and two days, but who's counting?) (I was totally counting.).

I didn't post online that he was gone because a) I'm pregnant and paranoid cautious, b) it's not too hard to find out where I live, c) I watch too many crime & forensics shows, d) I have a very active imagination, e) all of the above.

But I'm very [very very very very very] happy to have him home now; absence makes the heart grow fonder may be cliche but it's really so true. I keep wanting to post things about how glad I am that he's back and experiencing this pregnancy with me, so I figured I should explain that he was gone. :)

The opportunity for Jason to work on this big project overseas came up at the end of last year, and for several reasons we decided that he should take it. My biggest worry about him being gone was that we'd miss two cycles for trying to conceive; I joked that he could go if he got me pregnant before he left. He kept his end of that bargain, so I had to keep mine. :)

All in all, 8 weeks apart wasn't too bad. I'm a pretty independent person anyway, so the first week he was gone just felt like vacation--cereal for dinner! laundry just once a week! the whole bed to myself! the kitchen counter stays clean! The second week was the hardest; one morning I woke up and realized that I hadn't had any physical contact with anyone for nine days, and I just cried and cried, practically aching from touch deprivation. And then I put on my big girl panties and booked myself a 90-minute prenatal massage, guilt-free.

Luckily, Jason and I were able to video-chat nearly every day and we talked on the phone most of the days we couldn't video. I kept myself so busy (with my artist workshop, visiting friends, and prepping for and attending jewelry shows) that the time flew by and I didn't even get to tackle the home projects I wanted to work on while he was gone. He used to be military, so it's not like we haven't done this before (for much, much longer). And we've been married for 11 years now (and best friends for 13), so our communication skills are pretty darn good; we've worked hard at it and I'm proud of where + how + who we are together. That helped a lot.

He had a great fine time, got some great experience, met some great people (and a couple dirtbags), and he's glad to be back. Since he's been home Bebe Girl has started moving like crazy. He felt her move last week (while we were watching My Cousin Vinny of all things) and then yesterday he saw her move, from across the room--she was kicking and one part of my belly kept bulging out. WILD. Awesome. Amazing. Beautiful.

I'm so glad he's home.

It's a....

girl!!!

Which Gender is Bebe Yates?

I thought I'd do a gender poll just for fun. :) If there's a reason you think it's one or the other, please comment and let me know!

Half-Baked

When I first saw those two pink lines, I wasn't overwhelmed with a feeling of, "This is it, we're having a baby!" I was happy, naturally, and excited, but it was a cautious optimism. When I told Jason, he said something to the effect of it being "the first step," and I knew exactly what he meant. For us, getting pregnant was one little step towards actually having a baby.

I wonder what it would be like to be in ignorant bliss when you find out you're pregnant; to just assume with your whole heart and mind that two pink lines will equal a baby in about nine months. Of course I'll never know, because I've known the heartbreak of loss. I have friends who've experienced heartbreak in ways I hope I can never truly comprehend and come through the other side (with happy, healthy babies now in their arms, or on the way); they've served as such wonderful support throughout this journey, but knowing the tragic things that happened to them, far along in their pregnancies, is sobering to say the least. I take nothing for granted.

As I was journaling in those first few days, three words kept popping up so I made them my mantra... "Be positive, calm, and hopeful." Some days I think I said it a thousand times. My mind would drift and I'd pull it back to where I knew it should be, where and how I should be for both myself and the baby; positive, calm, and hopeful.

Still, as joyful as I was, it felt like I was waiting for things to come crashing down around me (again). I went to the bathroom many more times a day than I needed to, just to check that I wasn't bleeding. Every twinge made me stop in my tracks, waiting to see if it would turn into cramps, as I willed my abdominal muscles to relax and concentrated on providing a safe and welcoming place for our baby to be and grow.

Every day that things stayed the same felt like a tiny step taken.

Because of our history of loss & infertility, I had early ultrasounds. At six weeks we saw that the baby was implanted where it was supposed to be, and I breathed a little sigh of relief. Another step closer.

At seven weeks, we saw a tiny flicker-flicker-flicker and heard the whoosh-whoosh-whoosh of a heartbeat. Amazing, and another big step closer.

At nine weeks, the baby was continuing to grow as he/she should and my blood tests were a-okay and I was put on the normal pregnant lady schedule for appointments, as opposed to the "we'd better keep an eye on this one" schedule. One more step.

At thirteen weeks I had my first trimester screening, where they do a more advanced ultrasound to measure certain things and gauge the risk for chromosomal abnormalities. Bebe got rave reviews and was determined very low risk; my blood test came back the following week and moved Bebe's risk down to very, very low risk. Two more steps!

Gradually, I'm feeling more and more like things will actually work out and we'll have a baby in October; it almost feels too good to be true. I'm finding that less and less I'm qualifying things with, "assuming everything continues to go well," and instead I'm just assuming that everything will continue to go well. It's a peaceful feeling.

And now. Now, I'm 20 weeks. Halfway there. The bun in the oven is half-baked. There's still a long way to go (which will fly by), and every once in a while I still need to remind myself to be positive, calm, and hopeful. But 20 weeks feels like a big step closer.

It's definitely a big something, anyway. :)


Does this mean I'm "carrying high"? It certainly doesn't feel like it could get any higher.

Look, I managed to take a full-length photo of myself with my DSLR! (Here's an out-take from this photo session that shows how awful I am at this game. And is kind of hilarious. Maybe just to me.)

I realize that it kind of looks like I'm arching my lower back to push out my butt and belly, but I assure you, that's my actual ass. And belly for that matter.

We have our second trimester screening on June 14th, and I am so excited to see Bebe again on the fancy ultrasound. Hopefully, in addition to being healthy and passing all the tests, so to speak, he or she will feel like sharing and we'll get to find out whether Bebe is a he or a she. I'm excited to share that moment with Jason, to experience the wave of emotions that will come with either answer, and to maybe be surprised by what I/we feel. I'm excited to be able to use a single pronoun when referring to Bebe! There's so much I'm excited for. :)

Thank you for all the support here and on Twitter and Facebook and by e-mail; I can't tell you what it's meant to me. Now, let's have 20 more weeks or so, shall we?

A Different Ending (Just One More Thing)

[This is the final "bonus" post of a series of catch-up blog posts covering the past year I've spent not-blogging. Here are all the links for the previous posts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, and Part 6. And if you want to know why this is such a big deal, please read this post.]

She had just one more thing to add...


[Our due date is October 17th.]