Saturday, February 26, 2011

A Different Ending (Part 1)

[I wrote this entire post in July of last year but didn't ever publish it because life happened (or, more specifically, a death happened) and then I had even more to catch up on, which will come in later posts. Hopefully soonish.]

Once upon a time there was a girl who blogged.

One day she finished writing a blog post, and it was the longest and most difficult post she'd ever written. Nervous and afraid, she hit "Publish" and was soon overwhelmed with the most amazing support she'd ever, ever known.

And no one ever heard from her again.

That story sucks.

Let's try again...

Once upon a time there was a girl who blogged.

One day she finished writing a blog post, and it was the longest and most difficult post she'd ever written. Nervous and afraid, she hit "Publish" and was soon overwhelmed with the most amazing support she'd ever, ever known.

Five days later, in the midst of processing all these new feelings and figuring out how to respond to all the amazing and personal and supportive comments and e-mails she received, she walked downstairs into the basement to blog and stepped into a puddle of water. In the carpet. [From a broken and flowing and flowing and flowing water heater.]

It could have been a lot worse. It was a really stressful couple of days and the timing was lousy, but could have been a lot worse. But she couldn't dwell on it too long, because she had a lot to do; she was preparing for a trip!

All the stress was forgotten when she and her husband arrived in Puerto Rico and realized that this was the view from their hotel room!


In Puerto Rico they hiked in a rain-forest...


... up a mountain...


... spotted the gorgeous (green!!!) bird that was chirping back and forth overhead...


... and found beauty in ordinary things.


She tried the local cuisine...


... and wondered why in the world she had to wait until age 34 to have spiced meat wrapped in mashed potatoes and then deep fried.


[I mean, really. There might not be a more perfect food for her.]

She explored Old San Juan...


... until she felt broken down and battered by the hot hot sun...


... and was forced to stop for some refreshment. It was the right thing to do.


She went night kayaking to a bio-luminescent bay...


... and took photos upside-down over her head...


... and handed a stranger her camera to take a photo...


... [right before she hurried back to the hotel to take a shower because she was secretly kind of freaked out about the microscopic bio-luminescent creatures that were splashed all over her].

She made friends at the hotel pool (and made him practically purr)...


... and walked on the beach...


... and celebrated her 10th wedding anniversary, wondering both where the time has gone and how--and who!--she ever was without him.


And then she had to come home.

[For like a minute.]

She had to go shopping (she hates shopping).


Because she (and her husband) turned right around and flew to New Orleans after getting stuck overnight in Memphis!

Where she attended a welcome dinner in the French Quarter, a Bridal Shower Tea at a fancy hotel, a Bachelorette party [in a place--she's not kidding--called Cooter Brown's]...


... and a gorgeous wedding and reception...


... and a Bayou Brunch...


... where she finally got a photo of all six of the cousins together.


And then she flew home. Again.

[For like a minute. Again.]

She appreciated Spring in her own yard...


... and on her street...


... and in D.C....


... where she felt very fancy indeed going to happy hour in The District like a real live Grown-Up.


She made and mailed out Mother's Day orders...


...and designed a necklace for an artist workshop and took pre-orders and pounded out orders like a crazy (but very grateful) person.


Then she packed up some art supplies and drove south to North Carolina and Inspired Artist Workshop, where she got gloriously messy hanging out with friends and...


... playing with painted mosaics...


... and watercolor crayons...


... and fun paper for making art journals with Pam Garrison...


... and crazy fun experimental mini-books with the absolutely adorable CD Muckosky...


... and melted beeswax with Suze Weinberg...


... and rainbows of paint...


...and teaching people how to make jewelry beads for a fun necklace...


... and even a new sculpture material. [The lady she was supposed to make freaked her out so she made a tree, instead, even though she was told not to. Because she's a rebel like that.]

*cough crappy cell phone photo cough*

Then.

Then, she came home.

And sat still for the first time in [how many photos now?] a long time.

And she realized that she was very sad; very, very sad. [She just hadn't really realized because she'd been so busy.]

So, she took it easy on herself. She cut herself a lot of slack and tried to be gentle with herself, like she'd be with a good friend. She read books and took long, long, hot, hot baths and reset her standards to Low Easily Attainable.

And still. She was really, really sad.

So, she started doing all the things They say are mood elevators. And she called a counselor.

And slowly, slowly. Oh. so. slowly.

She started feeling. Better.

Somewhere along the way, and kind of much to her own surprise, she became a runner.


[She sincerely believes the running played a big part in feeling better.]

She started creating again, including invitations for a Kentucky Derby-themed bridal shower...


... and a plain canvas bag she got at Inspired...


... she even got out the sewing machine!


[She is now in love with ruffles.]

And she made some new jewelry... like the Act Love Walk necklace...

Micah 6:8: "And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

... and the Infinity necklace...


...and the Eclipse earrings...


She celebrated her husband's birthday by going hiking with him, and she tried not to freak out when he did this...

He's holding up three fingers on one hand and five on the other. The big 35.

... while she herself stuck to less precipitous heights...


... and enjoyed the gorgeous weather...


... and dozens of beautiful butterflies.


To be continued...

15 comments:

cynthia said...

worth the wait:) Love ya girl!!!!

Chiara said...

so happy to see you blogging. I love you sweetie.

Melissa said...

I'm so glad I "meet" you, and I can't wait to read more :-)

Stacey said...

Love this post. All of it. And I want to read more...when you're ready :)

Erin said...

I love this. And um, I want the continuation now, kthnx.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful blog.... and I can see that Jason is obviously the most colorful (interesting/fun) of all his cousins ;)
-Trisha

Mel said...

I love that you are blogging again!!! xoxoxox Mel

Carrie said...

Beautiful photos! Welcome back.

Skip'sMKGirl said...

I looooove this, but I love that you are part of my life even more <3

paula :: plays with mud said...

Super super love Cam. Love catching up on your life; love that you're healing; love that you wrote in the 3rd person; love that I can read your blog again!

keli [at] kidnapped by suburbia said...

oh cameron, i can't wait for part 2!! i love this post so so much. you are AMAZING. period. XO

Wisconsin Girl said...

Beautiful...I'm speechless. I've checked back on your blog so often and wondered how you were doing and what you were up to. Thank you for sharing these thoughts and the photos. Seriously...amazing thoughts you are willing to put out there for others to read. Thanks for sharing this Cameron:)

Tristina said...

So so so so so happy to see you blogging again! I can't wait to hear the continuation and see more of your pretty photos!

LOVE

Ingrid said...

Yeah! So happy to see you back at it. Now what shall I do about me?

meganboley.com said...

I love that you are back. So many good things in this post. Keep the good things coming.

oxox