Thursday, March 3, 2011

A Different Ending (Part 4)

[This is Part 4 of a series of I'm not sure how many yet. Part 1 can be found here, Part 2 can be found here, and Part 3 can be found here. I fully realize that this is faaaaar more in-depth than most people care about, but I'm having a lot of fun going back over the past year and choosing photos and telling snippets of stories. I'm also realizing that some of these photos I uploaded to the computer and then never even looked at, so this is a good and much-needed chance to catch up and document our 2010. Thanks for bearing with me!]


When she got back from Oregon (again), daily life got back to mostly normal (whatever that means). She continued her volunteer position with her sorority alumnae association, keeping track of members and creating a Directory.

She went to the chiropractor every two weeks (because have you seen her spine?).

She went to the Korean Spa once a month or so because she had Groupons for it she loooooooves it and it makes her happy.

It's a naked spa so the only place she could take a photo was in the empty bathroom.

She explored Virginia and went wine tasting.

She kept up on her book club...

... and her other book club.

She happily attended "Wine and Cheese Club" with three great friends

Three of these hands belong to Andrea, Elizabeth, and BJ.

and hung out with friends from the Avon Walk

With Robyn & Lindsay.

and her alumnae association

With HeidiAnne & Cortney.

and her neighborhood.

She started running again, with her dear sweet husband, and they talked and talked

Yes, that is a running skirt.

and fell even more in love and had fun no matter what they were doing, even brushing their teeth.

She was also very busy making jewelry, lots and lots of jewelry, because she was offered the chance to set up a table at a local high-end salon. It happened to be on her birthday.

It was a lot of work to prepare for, and it went okay, but not really well enough to justify sitting at a table for eight hours on her birthday. This made her sad. So her husband took her out for a nice dinner, and just when things were starting to look up for her and her smile was coming back, she somehow managed to bump over an empty glass, and in attempting to catch it she knocked both the glass and a ginormous bottle of Crystal hot sauce onto the tile floor, shattering the glass and the hot sauce.

Everyone looked at her. Everyone. [She doesn't like everyone looking at her.]

So she burst into tears and started laughing and said, "And it's my birthday!"

Nice people came and talked to her and the crying decreased and the laughing increased and she drank dark beer and coffee with Bailey's and ate crème brûlée

and then went into the bar and a couple people bought her shots of chilled Patrón (her first time but not her last) and all was right with the world, for that night.

But the truth was that she wasn't really sad about the eight birthday hours spent sitting at a table, or the broken hot sauce splattered all over the tile, or the people (who turned out to be quite nice, after all) all looking at her.

What she was really sad about was that she was now that number, that number that is in all the books and all the articles and all the everything that had haunted her and served as her goal for so long now.

She was 35. And not pregnant.

So, she took it easy on herself the next day. She did whatever she wanted, and that afternoon what she wanted was to take a 3+ hours long, hot hot hot bath, and text her husband whenever she needed more wine or ice water and he would bring it right up with a smile and a kiss. And that's exactly what happened.

And slowly she convinced herself that whether she had gotten pregnant at 34 years and 9 months or would get pregnant at 35 years and 3 months, it was just numbers. Nothing magically happened to her on that birthday that made her more or less likely to get pregnant than she was the month before or the month after.

She breathed a little easier and her heart felt a little lighter.

The next day, Friday, her husband had off of work, so they went into DC to go to the zoo.

She had a lot of fun, and smiled and laughed a lot.

Then she packed her bags and headed to Orlando! This trip was her birthday present. She knew that she would be sad about her birthday so she booked a trip to see the friend she always has a blast with, who would take her mind off of 35andnotpregnant.

Their time together sometimes often usually always involves drinking

At Lori's "Book Club."

and eating junk food, so they got right on that like they usually do.

She hadn't had a slurpee for about twelve years.

This time, unlike their other visits together, her friend's husband and three boys were home. So in addition to eating and drinking together, they did things like baking cupcakes and volunteering in a third grade classroom to do the Halloween craft. She had forgotten how LOUD third grade is.

These are totally organic.

She even got to work in the concession stand for a football game, while her friend was busy being the Team Mom.

After the game the team went out to eat, and she got fried pickles. She loves fried pickles. And good beer. She loves good beer, too.

Later that night she went out for Girls' Night with her friend's best friends (now her friends, too).

With Lori, Anke, and Allison.

They ate tapas and drank wine and beer

and then went across the street to a dessert place. The other ladies told such funny stories about their lives and kids and husbands

that by the time the plate looked like this

she was completely unaware of her ovaries and any longings they might have.

[Although that might have been the alcohol sugar talking.]

In any event, she got exactly what she came to Orlando for. And she loved her friend for it.

And then she flew home. Again.

To be continued....


Chiara said...

i love you my friend. and I wish I had that wand that would give all my friends who desperately want babies their dream.

Tristina said...

Oh sweetheart.... What a wonderfully lovely birthday. And, you're right - it's just a number and numbers mean nothing in the grand scheme of things.

You know that necklace I have of yours? Dream.

Yes. That.


erica said...

Your spine!!! :-(

Your husband is a dear with the bath fetching. And you are gorgeous. And I am here for your journey. And anxious for the happy to getcha. Many hugs. Pretty lady.

Lori Hudson said...

I'm so glad you still want to have children after visiting my 3! I'm also glad you had a good time after I put you to work while you were here. Everybody here misses you and wants you to come back NOW!
P.S. I want a copy of that photo with the 4 of us together. I want to frame it.

Anonymous said...

I agree with everything. Numbers? Don't matter. My fiance was 41 before the happy caught him (I love that phrase). We are here. We love you and support your beautiful self!

krista said...

LOVE YOU!! (sorry I'm reading and not commenting... I'll try to be better)
p.s. I hope you think imitation is the greatest form of flattery, because I think im going to do one of these picture heavy posts just to get caught up to. We suck at blogging, yo!

Ryley @ That's My Family! said...

OH BOY!!! I'm working tonight and was signed in as my boss!!! :)
It's MEEEE I promise!!

Anke Cirillo said...

Hey Cameron! I am enjoying reading your year in review. The X-Ray is freaking me out a little though. I don't think I've seen a full torso one like that before. keep writing so we can keep reading.

Anonymous said...

That bath sounds more than amazing. I love your life. Looking forward to the next installment and thinking of you daily.

keli [at] kidnapped by suburbia said...

i am absolutely loving these peeks into your life. you have, quite possibly, the most amazing husband ever. and i know good things will come for you ... you both deserve it. thinking of you more often than i'd let on b/c you might think i'm a little stalker'ish. XO

Jennifer Stewart said...

I love you! You are going to have such wonderful life stories to tell your sweet child. :)


libby @ ninesandquines said...

Love you :-)

Sara Joy said...

You are gorgeous. I love hearing her story. So glad you are catching us up, so glad you are up for the telling. So glad you are you.