Friday, May 30, 2008

If I Were President...

No, this is not a political blog. At all. In any way, shape, or form. :) "If I were President" is a game that I used to play with my college friends. It goes like this:

When in a group of friends, one of us would loudly proclaim in a formal voice, "If Iiiiiiiiii were President..." (The "I" lasts about four seconds.) Then all of us would stop and listen, and the proclamation would continue with something like, "Professor So-and-So would stop looking at my boobs in class and give me an A for the semester." That was never said but I can't remember any of them and it seems plausible for college, yes? They were always silly things (or sometimes serious things) that were bothering us or getting on our nerves, and saying them in a funny way and/or having other people agree with us and/or laugh always helped. I still love playing this game, but Jason's not really into it, which takes all the fun out of it. But now I have a blog! And that means an imagined audience!

So! If Iiiiiiiiiii were President, there would be yellow or red lines painted about four feet away from every baggage carousel in every airport in the country (I'd say the world, but that might be a little greedy as President... but then again... oh, wait, I said this wasn't a political blog, I'd better stop now). The painted line would follow the curves of the carousel, but would just be outside of it by about three and a half or four feet, like a giant outline. AND, everyone who is picking up baggage would have to stand BEHIND that line, until they see their actual bag(s), at which point they can go up and haul it off of the carousel... which, of course, would be a lot easier since they don't have to worry about slamming it into the knees of other people since they are all standing where? Yes, behind the line. It also would be a lot easier to see when your bags are coming down the chute, because people aren't crowded around in a clump; they are all standing, yes, behind the line. And if I wanted to get all math dork on you, I could explain how the line would increase the diameter of the carousel, thereby allowing even more people to be in the "front row," as it were. But some people are afraid of geometry so I won't. Except I kind of just did. :P

The line could be a beautiful thing. So efficient. So civilized after those long flights in tiny seats when travelers are weary and cranky. Alas! It will never be. I would never could never will never be President, and even if I were, I would have a lot more important things to do than worry about airport baggage carousels. Which is kind of the point of the game (just in case you didn't get that). So don't send me nasty e-mails or post nasty comments, dork. [For the record this is a very long and drawn out "If I were President." Normally they are just a sentence, or at least just one breath. But obviously I've been thinking of this one for a while and wanted to elaborate.]

Obviously I was just an airport (or two, since that's kind how it works). :) I flew to Portland and then Mom, Dad, and I drove to Spokane for a visit with my sister's family and the baptism of my niece/God-daughter. (How many times must I incorrectly start typing niece and have to go back and fix it before I will just get it right the first time? Anyone?) Flying cross-country and going on a seven-hour (one-way) road trip (and back again, all in a week) was rough... but it was alllllll worth it to be there to hold the beautiful Lily when she was baptized and to hang out with my sister's family and friends.

It was Scrap Your Day on Sunday so I'm ploughing through 467 photos in between catching up on laundry and grocery shopping (and sleep!). :) Hope to post the highlights maybe on Sunday. Tonight Jason and I have a date involving grilled steaks, pasta, and some neighborhood dirt he found out while I was gone and hasn't told me yet (I know, I know, gossip is evil and bad and we shouldn't do it so don't send me nasty e-mails or post nasty comments). Tomorrow we are going to a Crawfish Boil with our friends Andrea and Scott . Super excited about that! I haven't seen Andrea since we walked the Avon Walk together so it should be a good food, good friends, good fun kind of day. Hooray!

Enjoy your Friday night, everyone! And while you're at it, tell me what you would do if you were President!

8 comments:

nicheplayer said...

"Professor So-and-So would stop looking at my boobs in class and give me an A for the semester."

Doesn't the former lead to the latter?

Cynthia said...

Oh to funny:) If I were president...There would be no speed bumps (almost destroyed my car yesterday on those darn things) and everyone must say please and thank you:) I am so glad you had a great trip. Can't wait to see the photo's. Oh and please eat some crawfish for me:)

Jilliene Designs said...

I will totally play "if iiiiiii were president.." with you! I love that and you are brilliant btw. The carousal thing alone could get you elected! Ok - I'll be doing a weekly "If IIII were president article on my blog" - Every sat. Wouldn't it be fun if we started a movement?

Aimee said...

If iiiiiiiiiii were President everyone in the country would have an assigned cleaning lady.

If IIIIIII were president, everyone would be mandated to craft two hours a doay.

If iiiiiiiiiii were president, everyone would smile and say hello to each other in the store.

and btw, i love gossip...

Ingrid said...

If I were president, crackers would not be wrapped in plastic, then wrapped in cardboard, and then wrapped in plastic.
And littering would not just be against the law, but would also be actually punished.... by a volunteer squad of angry grandmothers. And I am going to volunteer too, even though I am not a grandmother.

amy said...

if iiiiiiiii were president.....mothers would be REQUIRED to take a nap everyday with no one interupting them.

Heather said...

If iiiiiiiiiiiiii were Prime Minister....(I'm Canadian hee)I'd institute a national emergency preparedness plan in case of zombie attack.

I worry about these things.

If iiiiiii were Prime Minister I'd make it illegal to build houses on lots less then 1 acre wide :D

If iiiiiiii were Prime Minister a University education would cost nothing!

Katie said...

If Iiiiiiiiii were president girls who leave kick @$$ comments on my post to defend my motherhood would get whatever their little hearts desire. Lines around carousels and people who actually paid attention to them.

President just isn't doing it for me, I need to be master of the universe or something because the things I want to change...."if Iiiiiiiii were Sheera (do you even know who she is?!?!), there would be at least 40 hours in a day."

Rock on Sweet Cameron!